TheSamba.com :: View topic

Mon May 12, 2008 4:26 pm

I posted this on my bowling mechanics forum and everyone got a kick out of it....

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident... Enjoy!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Mon May 12, 2008 6:00 pm

those darn midgets . . . .

Mon May 12, 2008 6:33 pm

those darn hammers

Mon May 12, 2008 6:42 pm

Pietenpol wrote: .. Took hammer away from midget

yup. ;)

Mon May 12, 2008 7:03 pm

This AGAIN?!

Tue May 13, 2008 12:20 am

at least he didn't claim it was his, like SOME attention whore.

Tue May 13, 2008 8:43 am

Tue May 13, 2008 8:48 am

Come on guys, there's nothing wrong with posting things that we KNOW are true and could no way be construed as being made up solely for entertainment over and over again!

By the way, don't forget to not buy gas this thursday!

Tue May 13, 2008 9:04 am

Florida_Buggy wrote: Come on guys, there's nothing wrong with posting things that we KNOW are true and could no way be construed as being made up solely for entertainment over and over again!

By the way, don't forget to not buy gas this thursday!

What's wrong with the gas this Thursday?

Tue May 13, 2008 9:24 am

I think the wrong topics are being deleted. I predict this thread will go on for several pages.

Tue May 13, 2008 9:33 am

piemat wrote: I think the wrong topics are being deleted. I predict this thread will go on for several pages.

not if i have anything to say about it!

Tue May 13, 2008 9:56 am

runslikeapenguin wrote: piemat wrote: I think the wrong topics are being deleted. I predict this thread will go on for several pages.

not if i have anything to say about it!

i don't know why, but i have to watch everytime its posted.

Tue May 13, 2008 5:18 pm

Pietenpol wrote: I posted this on my bowling mechanics forum and everyone got a kick out of it.... You're a bowling mechanic?... That's pretty cool, Brunswick or AMF? I did a bit of work on some 82-70's when I was in college... Mostly just clearing pinjams and interlock errors, but I also helped the main mechanic put in new carpets on four lanes. Such beautiful machinery to watch operate.

Tue May 13, 2008 5:56 pm

gonebuggy wrote: This AGAIN?!

X2

Tue May 13, 2008 7:11 pm

Welcome to the internet 1990.

Locked.