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Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:40 pm

Okay guys kind of an odd question here. But i need some advice. I've need dating this girl for just about 8 months now. We get along pretty good and i feel like i treat her pretty good ( i spend lots of time with her and a decent amount of money too) But lately she has told me that people at her schoo,have been telling her that i've been chearting on her. The weird part is they are people that i don't even know and they have no idea who i am. And some of them she barely even knows. Now she's the only girlfriend iv'e ever had and i've never cheated or done anything with any other girl. She's like on the verge of breaking up with me because she can't take it anymore and she says she can't ignore them anymore. What do i do?

Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:42 pm

Move on. Since this is even an issue shows that this will go nowhere.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:50 pm

But we both really like each other. And if it is going to end i don't think it should be in this way.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:07 pm

If she really did like you or was worth your time she wouldn't care what they said. Sounds cold but it's the truth. The fact she trusts people she barely know over you is her own insecurity and lack of trust in you. You sound young, plenty of time to find other ex-wifes :lol:

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:14 pm

Now i'm just guessing and this is a VW. forum but the paranoid part of me says your woman is up to something and looking to blame you for a way out or is cheating. Maybe talking to a parent or trusted elder would be a better move. I dont go to the Priest to get opinions on what to do to my VW. But hey thats just my opinion.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:15 pm

rustfree1967bug wrote: But we both really like each other. And if it is going to end i don't think it should be in this way.

You really like HER. She's getting the heebie- jeebies for some reason. You need to experience more than one girl. Spread your wings, grasshopper.

Looking back on my own life- If I'd had any idea how much hormonal urges would fark up the other facets of my life, I would have cut out the women. Women are always around; other opportunities like education- not so much.

Look at the big picture. She's playing games. This you do not need.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:15 pm

I'm only 19. But i don't get why she won't believe me. Ive' done everything i can think of to show her i'm being honest. Is there anything at all i can do?

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:17 pm

rustfree1967bug wrote: I'm only 19. But i don't get why she won't believe me. Ive' done everything i can think of to show her i'm being honest. Is there anything at all i can do?

She doesn't want to believe you. She's either bat- shit crazy, or she can't be honest- both of which are huge red flags.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:20 pm

What do you mean can't be honest?

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:25 pm

rustfree1967bug wrote: What do you mean can't be honest?

That she's the one with the problem.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:26 pm

problem as in with herself or something she's doing?

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:27 pm

rustfree1967bug wrote: I'm only 19. But i don't get why she won't believe me. Ive' done everything i can think of to show her i'm being honest. Is there anything at all i can do?

I am your exact age and just went through a similar situation. We had been together for 4 years and she started to pull this kind of garbage on me. Well it turns out she was cheating on me after 4 years and us getting engaged. That was the biggest waste of time and money. I`m glad that I didn`t give up on my education for her. There are plenty of other girls out there that will treat you better and are actually worth your time.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:28 pm

rustfree1967bug wrote: What do you mean can't be honest?

She obviously wants to break up. If she didn't, she wouldn't be pursuing this ridiculous rumor. If what you say is true, then she's not being honest about her wanting to break up with you. Instead of telling you she wants out, she's trying to make it your fault that she's breaking up with you.

Instead of saying "I'm just not happy" or "Your dick is too small", or "I'm a lesbian", she says "You've been cheating on me!". That's what I mean by she can't be honest with you.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:32 pm

Wow, i hope that's not what she's doing. I'd like it better if she could just be honest with me if that's the deal. Either way i'm gonna try to figure it out tomorrow.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:38 pm

rustfree1967bug wrote: Wow, i hope that's not what she's doing. I'd like it better if she could just be honest with me if that's the deal. Either way i'm gonna try to figure it out tomorrow.

That's why it's a red flag. The good one's are. They may piss you off with honesty but they are worth it.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:38 pm

jmartin7 wrote: rustfree1967bug wrote: I'm only 19. But i don't get why she won't believe me. Ive' done everything i can think of to show her i'm being honest. Is there anything at all i can do?

I am your exact age and just went through a similar situation. We had been together for 4 years and she started to pull this kind of garbage on me. Well it turns out she was cheating on me after 4 years and us getting engaged. That was the biggest waste of time and money. I`m glad that I didn`t give up on my education for her. There are plenty of other girls out there that will treat you better and are actually worth your time.

Exatcly what I was referring to. Shes up to no good and saying its your fault. Make it fair hit on her best friend...

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:43 pm

How do i find out if she's really doing something behind my back. I'm usually always with her after school until fairly late at night so it would be hard for her to have time to do anything unless it was at school.

Also should mention that a few times she's brought up wanting to take a break for like a month, when i asked why she always says because she needs time to think and to deal with school.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:57 pm

rustfree1967bug wrote: How do i find out if she's really doing something behind my back. I'm usually always with her after school until fairly late at night so it would be hard for her to have time to do anything unless it was at school.

But wait- Now trust is out the window, and the bloom is off the rose. So, you stalk her or spy on her and find out :
1) She's not cheating. The fact of the matter is that she's still believing rumors that are, according to you, untrue that you are cheating. What have you gained?

2) She is indeed cheating. So now, you realize that not only is she lying to you about the rumor, she's actually projecting her behavior onto you to blame you for the breakup.

Keep in mind: In either case, this likely won't be the last time she pulls this stunt. Do you want to live with the uneasiness and the mistrust? I sure wouldn't!

In fact, my gut instinct tells me that you'll find it's #2. Know why? Because someone who cheats will be very ready to believe any rumor or circumstantial evidence that his/ her partner is also cheating. After all, this is how they behave.

This chick is a wounded bird. You don't need the emotional drain. I know this sounds like a rush to judgement, but the minute she refused to believe you, the relationship changed forever, and you're now in the "new normal" for this relationship.

Is this what you want?

Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:05 pm

one question.

in 3 years from now or sooner... do you want her asking where you are going every time you put your house shoes on and you step outside for a smoke? or go out to the garage to work on your car?

ok maybe 2 questions.
do you want to pay child support for the next 18 years to her because she thinks your a cheating ho?

if you answer is yes to eater one or more of the questions above then you have your answer on if you should stay with her.

Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:05 pm

If she really is cheating or doing anything then i would like to find out first. Then atleast i know she isn't doing this because of something i did. And because if she is doing something i'd like to catch her in the act.