Winston the Westy and the Router Hollows...

[msinabottle]

Well, I seem to have won the fight. They're on, they're torqued to spec, the covers fit, I drove Winston with them on BAD main streets, BAD residential streets, and acceptable highway at 70 mph, and there was no vibration, no shimmy, no strange sounds (and I was listening) and they look great. Pictures to follow as I have the time.

I started this morning by torquing the front wheel lug nuts to 130 ft/lbs, as Loogy suggested over on the 'Wheels' thread. Since I'd be working on the rear wheels, I wanted the front wheels ready to hold him, if not to drive him, just yet. Then I chocked the front wheels, pulled the hub caps on the stock steel rims, and stared at those axle nuts.

I pulled the cotter pins, careful to get all of them. Then I stared some more. They frightened me. I got out the 'bottle opener' EMPI tool. I put it over the first axle nut. I hit it with a 6 lb. short handled sledge. Nothing happened. I hit it again. It fell off and scored the rim. I put a half-inch breaker bar in the socket. I hit that with the sledge. It fell off.

I didn't have a cheater bar that would fit over the handle of the breaker bar. Dogpilot had broken two. At that moment, I said to myself, 'You will END UP renting a tool to do this. Why not go and rent it early and save the suffering?'

Accordingly, I called:

Adams Equipment Co.
5900 South Broadway
Littleton, CO 80121
Phone: 303 794-9300
Fax: 303 794-8795

and asked if they had an Electric Impact Wrench (which I kept calling a Torque Wrench, because my brain had a short in it) that could generate 400 ft/lbs.

They did. I scurried down there, and a nice fellow named Al started to go and get the electric impact wrench, asking me what I needed to do. I told him--rear axle nut, 46mm., by spec at 360 ft./lbs, probably worse. Al looked thoughtful... He went to the shelf and got down...

THE TORQUE WRENCH FROM HELL!

It was... four feet long. 3/4" drive. It was rated for SIX HUNDRED FOOT/POUNDS OF TORQUE. It was... BEAUTIFUL... and I could rent it. I wanted to rent it. I wanted to show it to that axle nut that had laughed at the bottle opener, and I was laughing myself 'cause when I ordered the bottle opener I'd also ordered a 3/4" drive 46mm. socket and THIS WRENCH COULD USE IT. And if it couldn't budge that nut, I could always come back for the electric impact wrench.

You know that scene in 'Conan, the Barbarian' where he finds that REALLY COOL SWORD in the tomb of an Atlantean General? That's how I felt when I first lifted...

THE TORQUE WRENCH FROM HELL!

It trembled with latent energies... I lifted it... Was it lightning, or just the midday sun glinting off of grease-smudged glistening chrome? But for all my tenor voice and scholarly demeanor, when I raised...

THE TORQUE WRENCH FROM HELL!

I was HE-MAN! I HAD THE POOOOOOWER!

I loaded it into the Saturn I'd just saved from the wrecking yard (actually from being pounced upon by the guys at the shop if I'd let it be junked, they were salivating over it) by $1100--no new upholstery for Winston, for a while--and drove home. Winston trembled. He knew that something dire was in the offing. But neither Winston nor his axle nuts had any idea that I was about to unleash...

THE TORQUE WRENCH FROM HELL!

I slapped on the socket. I flipped the huge, easy to grasp, directional ring on the back of the head. I uttered the words of power, 'Lefty Loosey, Righty, Tighty!' The rear wheels were down firmly on the pavement. And then I slapped socket, implement of destruction, and my shoulder to Winston's driver's side rear axle nut.

He lurched. He lifted... He surged forward, with brakes on, and in gear... and...

NOTHING HAPPENED.



I chocked both of Winston's front wheels. I muttered to myself that I am still in reasonably good shape. I tried again. Winston lurched. I switched the chocks to the rear wheels and threw everything I had against that long, glistening handle. THE AXLE NUT WOULD NOT MOVE. I could use this wrench STANDING. When I threw my legs and arms into it, I COULD LIFT THE VAN. THE AXLE NUT WAS RESISTING THE IRRESISTABLE FORCE!

And yet... I own a Vanagon. I am a writer. I am also a Republican. I am very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very. very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very hard to discourage.

And I spent a good long time last night browsing through Samba posts like this one.

Did I have an assistant to hit the bottle opener with a hammer while I used a four foot breaker bar? No <Mightyart>. Did I have the huge electric torque wrench? No. <Dogpilot>. DID I HAVE A RATTY OLD PROPANE TORCH AND A CAN OF LIQUID WRENCH? <type3bandit>

Yes. I did. Very ratty. And I got out that torch, and I got out that can, and tried to keep them well away from each other, and I started heating that nut... and I poured down the Liquid Wrench... And I heated... and I poured... Smoke and Flame... the Balrog Music from the Fellowship of the Ring... Neighborhood children cowering on their tricycles... And before that sucker could cool, I once again applied...

THE TORQUE WRENCH FROM HELL!

And the axle nut... MOVED. I smiled. I grinned. And I got that beast good and loose before I went over and repeated the whole drill in less time on the other nut.

You know, after that, it was pretty anti-climactic. When I pulled both wheels I found that the two drum retention bolts were long gone, so Winston had had alloy wheels in the past, and they'd been swapped back to steel before I got them. And then I praised whoever did the rear brakes, I think it was Nick, the previous owner, because the splines were well-greased, the drums nice and clean, and they came off easily at my touch.

Off came the hubs... I scurried over to my gearhead friend's across the street, who with only slight grumbling interrupted the completion of his huge new tool shed to do the socket (and a nut) and bench vise routine to pop out the old short studs... We couldn't pop in my new EMPI 52mm. racing studs, though, that vise didn't have that kind of torque. I ended up taking the hubs to:

G & S Auto Parts & Machine Shop
5756 S Lowell Blvd
Littleton, CO 80123-2866
(303) 795-1412

They'd helped me with Winston's New Ugly Bumper (NUB) and after measuring the new studs to make sure they wouldn't damage the hubs, they pressed them in completely while I waited about 20 minutes and charged me $15. THAT, dear friends, is a machine shop. Hubs and studs looked great.

I scurried back home. On went the hubs. I did clean the brake mechanism and the drums, being very careful not to breathe the magic brown wishing dust (asbestos) all over them. On went the drums. On went one of the new Audi 5000 15" Turbo wheels. There was no way to tighten that axle nut with those on it. Off went the alloy wheel. On went one of the old steel wheels. Down went the van onto the wheel--I should have bought that 'finger' tool from CIP that hits the ground and keeps the rim from turning, I'll get that next order.

Out came...

THE TORQUE WRENCH FROM HELL!

And that nut torqued back on so easily it wasn't funny. I did have to back it off a hair to get the new cotter pin through and bent into place, but then up went the van, off went the steel wheel, on went the spacers and the new alloy wheel--and it fit. On went the lug bolts. After 7 turns, I started smiling, I think the total was 10 or so. Down went the van.

I repeated the drill, using the steel wheel to keep the drum from turning again, and it was a bit harder to torque the other nut, but it lined up perfectly with the cotter pin hole, so that was lovely. On went the other wheel, on went the lug nuts. I had some trouble getting the bottle jack I was using to lower Winston from the jack stand and still be able to be removed itself. There's a 'zone' you have to be in. MINOR AGGRAVATION.

The last thing that could go wrong (before driving) was the side hatch door. No, no problem there, it didn't hit the new wheels at all... Then it was torquing the rear bolts, proper star pattern, (so horrible the first time I did it, so TRIVIAL after the axle nuts) then it was on with the new center caps I'd bought and painted yesterday. Caps fitted over the cotter pins. Result is very aesthetically pleasing. Not an Audi logo in sight.

I showed that wrench to my gearhead friend and his father, letting him check that I'd set it right. Their eyes bugged. They coveted the wrench. It finished all that I required it to do. The axle nuts were at spec. Then, with regrets, it was back to Adams to return and bid farewell to...

THE TORQUE WRENCH FROM HELL!

And when I brought it around back to the check-in counter (and belatedly remembered to set it to 0), one of the yard men saw it, and said...

"Oh, you rented...

THE TORQUE WRENCH FROM HELL!


That's a semi-sized torque wrench, about $600. Marvelous, isn't it?"

Yes. Yes. Yes, it was. He was of the Brotherhod of the T.W.F.H. And it was $18 for the four hours for which I had used it. And I had the sense to rent it early in the job, instead of at the end of long hours of anguished futility.

Then it was putting away tools for a solid forty five minutes. Then I pressurized all four of the Michelin Agilis on those rims to 45 lbs. Then, and only then, I drove Winston for the first time in three weeks (no lifter noise, btw, let's hear it for Castrol and a Mann oil filter).



He drove much better. He cornered much better. He rode much better. He steered so much more easily that I was a bit startled--with those Big O R/T's, steering Winston had always taken a fair amount of effort. He just glides on the new rims... No noise, no vibration, no shimmy or slewing...

I have triumphed. Pictures at:

http://www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2102691#2102691

And I am very tired.

Best!
_________________
'Winston,' '84 1.9 WBX Westy
Vanagon Poet Laureate: "I have suffered in
many ways, but never, never, never in silence."

[travisandcindy]

I laughed, I cried, and I saved five bucks..... Why do I feel like I was right there with you. You are a good vanagon guy, but a GREAT writer. Thanks for the story. I can't wait for the pictures, but the thousand words were great.

later
travis

[K58]

wow, I was living your experience...great writing
pics please
I want to see that it was worth it

[levi]

[Mad-Max]

got any pics yet?
_________________
my parts for sale
http://www.thesamba.com/vw/classifieds/detail.php?id=551409

[kevinbassplayer]

Congrats! Can't wait to see the pics! Made me want to get my own T.W.F.H!
_________________
87' Westfalia - "Wes The Trip Ship"
93' Toyota Pick-up
Daily Driver: Devinci hybrid road bike

www.gravybrainband.com
New CD "Free Range Asylum" available at: www.cdbaby.com/cd/GravyBrain

[r39o]

I zinged my rear hubs off in about 3 or 4 seconds with our big bad blue impact wrench. The studs popped out with about 3 taps with our big bad bronze mallet. It took about 2 minutes a piece to put the 63 mm ($3.85 ea) Porsche studs in. Then it took about a minute to mount the hubs and hit with the impact wrench again. As a final step we took our ancient VW/Porsche mega foot pound torque wrench and a long pipe to do a final torque while sitting on the ground. Then came the nice shiny new cotter keys. This whole job in the back should not take more than a lazy hour to do.

Can you tell I have done this sort of thing before?

Any VW shop can do it in even less time. Hint, hint....
_________________
"Use the SEARCH, Luke"
But first visit the Best Threads!
Westyside Story: 1985 Westy rescue project
1990 Multivan; Help me decide which to keep!
Vanagon rear heaters are: "EVIL!"
REPLACE YOUR FUEL LINES WITH "GOOD" HOSE!"

[msinabottle]

Now that it's safely over and that I've taken around eight aspirin at regular intervals, I can look back at it with only the occasional scream, PTSD or flashback.



You can't say that I wasn't careful, either. Oh, and I DID discuss this whole thing with Blazer, my usual, and excellent, VW shop. They don't do wheels. Painters Grinding won't do anything on Vanagons, and I wasn't going up to Boulder. And, hey--it's done!

I miss the you-know-what though...

I did get an interesting suggestion from a nice fellow at the machine shop--get a long wrench or cheater bar and rest it, on the bolt, against the end of a heavy bottle jack. Eight tons of force tends to get things' attention.

Pictures are up on the Gallery, I'm putting up a message with them up on Loogy's 'Wheels' thread to thank him for the information there and to keep it consolidated, a bit.

Best!
_________________
'Winston,' '84 1.9 WBX Westy
Vanagon Poet Laureate: "I have suffered in
many ways, but never, never, never in silence."

[msinabottle]

A person doing the same drill (or is that, 'route?') asked for some more details, thought I'd share them.

--

What we did was to cut a length of wood, about an inch in width, to a bit more than the diameter of the front (I have an '84) axle end cups, and round that on the ends, keeping the length correct. I bought a carbide downthrust router bit, wore a face shield and a shop apron, and just kept going around and around the central hole. I put the rim on a trash can to catch the shavings.

As I got more and more material out, I used the gauge to see if I was there yet, didn't stop until I could turn it around the hole. I did all four rims so I wouldn't have to worry about which went were. One mistake I hope you can avoid is that I didn't 'taper' the hole. The axle end cap tapers, so your hole can do the same, I made mine uniform to the end of the bore and in spots on two of the hubs went through the outer molding. I patched that successfully, but there was no need to do so.

--

Rims and my repairs are holding up beautifully.

Best!
_________________
'Winston,' '84 1.9 WBX Westy
Vanagon Poet Laureate: "I have suffered in
many ways, but never, never, never in silence."