Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 4:26 pm Post subject: Mechanic Humor
I posted this on my bowling mechanics forum and everyone got a kick out of it....
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident... Enjoy!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last...
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Joined: September 20, 2005 Posts: 3312 Location: Tampa Florida
Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:48 am Post subject:
Come on guys, there's nothing wrong with posting things that we KNOW are true and could no way be construed as being made up solely for entertainment over and over again!
By the way, don't forget to not buy gas this thursday! _________________ Reasons to hate me:
FloriDUH resident
I'm a male nurse
I have a late model bug (with only 3 bolts holding the motor in)
I have a rail buggy (with no front brakes or shocks)
I have a late bay Westy (It's got a water-cooled motor)
Joined: November 01, 2002 Posts: 16962 Location: 'Murrica
Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 9:04 am Post subject:
Florida_Buggy wrote:
Come on guys, there's nothing wrong with posting things that we KNOW are true and could no way be construed as being made up solely for entertainment over and over again!
By the way, don't forget to not buy gas this thursday!
Joined: February 20, 2005 Posts: 931 Location: Texas
Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 9:24 am Post subject:
I think the wrong topics are being deleted. I predict this thread will go on for several pages. _________________ Same Questions, Different Day.
http://www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/search.php
Joined: June 02, 2004 Posts: 1494 Location: East Fishkill, NY
Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: Re: Mechanic Humor
Pietenpol wrote:
I posted this on my bowling mechanics forum and everyone got a kick out of it....
You're a bowling mechanic?... That's pretty cool, Brunswick or AMF? I did a bit of work on some 82-70's when I was in college... Mostly just clearing pinjams and interlock errors, but I also helped the main mechanic put in new carpets on four lanes. Such beautiful machinery to watch operate. _________________ Evan H.
EverettB wrote:
In a perfect world, anyone running chromies would be shot.
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Same Questions, Different Day.