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Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:43 pm

Some explanation of terms in the true story below. A groupf friends get together every year in Indepence KS. We call it OZ as there are links to the Wizard of OZ there. Anything bad that happens is blamed on "the white dog" due to an event in the past. DFR = Down the F**king Road.

Well the damn white dog of OZ hit me this year. The mutt had me the entire weekend as a matter of fact! I still had a great time despite him.

The saga starts Thursday, my planned DFR date. Work calls a last minute meeting that morning and I still needed to do a few things to Chaos to get ready. Oh well, I'll leave Friday.

Friday dawns with drizzle. It clears and I get loaded and hit the road. My planned addition of a second tank didn't happen so I'm just running the small tank. So plenty of gas stops in my future. In my rear views is a west bound storm trying to catch me but the right hand helps here. No problems til Joplin where there was 100 miles between gas stops instead of the hoped for 80-85. *grin* Still made it to within sight of a station, about a mile. So I start walking. About 36 bikes pass me with some waving. Gee that helps. Station has one gas can left. Grab it and fill it up and walk back.

Dump in the two gals and get her fired up. Chaos is bitching but starts. Pull in the station and fill up. After having to argue with the computer cause I used my debit card at the same station within an hour. Fire back up and notice an odd sound. Go over the motor and find nothing. Chaos settles down and sounds decent. On the road again.

Yank the helmet off crossing the MO/KS border and am enjoying the road. Finally I'm within 20-25 miles of Independence. Have to hook a right and then a left. Semi approaching from the left but he's in the left lane. So I go. 3/4 thru the turn I realize big boy is now in my lane growing fast. Hit the gas and head for the shoulder. Hear/feel a gentle fooooob sound, power drops and a little rough running. Semi is back in the left lane and I slide in behind him and draft to the turn. Make the left and pull over. Shut down and notice I'm missing the entire left exhaust! "Hmmm, not a good thing". Pay attention you may hear that again.

The front exhaust is bare and the flames coming out are sweet looking but hitting the battery. Yank the plug wire and take of on the final leg. Hey, there was steak waiting for me! Next morning I check the valves. "Hmmm, not a good thing". Left side has a few parts floating around. Reattach and redo the timing. The rear exhaust port had a j-bend still on it so I switch it to the front one to protect the battery. Start her up and sounds good. Loud as hell on the left but runs good.

We head out for Collinsville OK on a little ride. We hit Bartlesville and Chaos is running a bit ragged and wont idle. I flip around and hit a local bike shop (Two Dogs, nice place.) Hit his junk pile and retrieve a used chunk of HD header. Can only attach with one nut but RTV fills the rest. Idles now but a little rough. Meet up with everyone, drink an icy one and hit the road again. Clipping along at 75-80, Cap'n behind me and feeling great. FOOOOOM and I'm headed left, HARD. "Hmmm, not a good thing". Felt like I had dropped the left tire again. No oncoming traffic (YEAH!) and onto the shoulder, hanging way off the right side and pulling hard to stay out of the ditch.

Gee, tire looks like a retread gone bad. "Hmmm, not a good thing". And poor Cap'n got to play with the aligator coming off the tire.We're a smidge over 1 hour from the camp and it's around 4. So Cap'n and LR take off to get the trailer, Shade, Sam, Roo, Pup and I take a "rest" on the shoulder. No shade (other than our Shade!). Pup, Sam and Roo head out bring back ice and water and such since they ride baggers. Hmmm, seems baggers are usualful for something! Well and Shade really likes the seats on 'em.

OK is a much nicer place than MO. We actually had folks stop to check on us. One dude evens offers me the spare off his van. Not a single yuppy rider stopped tho. So about the time we are cooked well done all the way thru the trailer appears. We load up which invovles everyone, some ramp moving (only a single wheel ramp) and some lifting. All loaded up and LR mentions we really should have put Chaos on the trailer backwards. OK, so my brain has melted and run out my ears. We leave it facing front and take off. A/C!!!!!!!!!! So the trailer wiggles and walks a bit every so often.

WalMart tire shop is closed so we hit the camp site and unload her. Jack her up and remove both back tires. No, I do not plan to trust the other one! Oh and jacking up the rear of Chaos ends up with entire trike off the ground with a block under the tow hitch and weight on the front end so she wont stand on her ass.

Hit WalMart as they open the next morning. They check the computer after I repeatedly said 15 inch tires and said we got 'em. So we drop the rims off and hit Eggberts for the traditional Sunday morning breakfast. Back to WalMart and the first thing I see, same tires on my rims. "Hmmm, not a good thing". Well she looked up 14 in tires. And they claim the 15's they have wont fit the rim. Too big. Can't tell them the tires are off a trike or they will refuse to the work. So I tell them it's a BAJA and screw the too big, I have the freaking room. This involves them pulling their inventory of 15's and swearing they wont fit. Picked a tire and told them to mount those. Too big for the rim, they say. Ask if it will look like a low rider with the bubble tires. Nope, MOUNT THEM. They do and have some fun balancing the tires/rims as the rims are a smidge warped. Finally done and walk out with an empty wallet."Hmmm, not a good thing".

Help Cap'n load his scoot and head to the camp. Tires on, Chaos back on the ground. We break camp and load everything up. Head out. At the end of Peter Pan Lane I hear an odd sound. Pull over to a station I that I know carries my smokes, fill up and check it. Pop the right valve cover, looks good. Pop the left. "Hmmm, not a good thing". Rocker arm shaft is 1/2 disconnected. One push rod out. Put it all back together. Start it up. Seems ok. In the back of my head is the notion that I probably should not be riding it without digging deeper but I can't afford another day in Independence which would most likely mean another breakdown!

On the road. Running damn good, gobs of power and damn good gas mileage. Both better than normal. I'm impressed, did't realize I was actually a master tuner of VW's. Popping the valve cover at every gas stop to make sure. Looks good. Then it was a little loose but I caught it. Headed into Sarcoxie MO and my speed started to drop. Full WOT was a whopping 45 and slowly dropping. Pull into a gas station and pull the covers. "Hmmm, not a good thing". Left side is totally disconnected.

Redo everything and start her up. No idle, no power at all. Pull the plug wires on that side. Still wont idle but moves. A whopping 35 mph. And feels bad. So from there I called, texted and sent smoke signals for help. Damn place is a dead spot for cells. Only worked in two small 3 foot circles it seemed. Shade drove over to sit with me, luv ya girl. Finally my smoke signals got a local BACA member there and I was able to get a shower at his house. Spent the time catching lightening bugs with his kids.

Kid got there with the trailer and no lights we headed home in the dark. But that's another story.

Sarge