TheSamba.com :: View topic

Sat Feb 18, 2023 2:10 pm

Last week Valentine’s Day around lunchtime I get a text message. It seems odd saying it’s from Ancestry.com and says I’ve been identified as a match to a lady in California and her six kids. Now as it turns out I did live in California in 1979-80. Looking further I am a parent to this woman and it is for real no bullshit.

She is in fact my daughter and the kids are my grandchildren. WTF. Still skeptical I begin texting her and it gets down to pictures. I’ve got pics of her mom from back in the day, now we’re cooking. She sends me pics of herself and it becomes obvious to me this 42 year old girl is my baby I never knew. Why ?

Her mom and I had what you may call a lovers spat and parted company. Turns out she was pregnant and I never knew anything about it, she just had that baby and never told me. DNA evidence is about 99. 9 accurate but pictures and a few conversations nailed it down for me and suddenly I’m a dad and a grandpa times 6. How do you even begin to process this info?

A rush of emotions and memories from over 40 years ago come in waves. We are already planning on a visit. I am not ashamed to say I’ve cried several times tears of joy and some sadness that I missed out on her growing up. I’m going to gone from here getting to know my new family. 😀

Sat Feb 18, 2023 2:14 pm

Whoa. Crazy story. You wouldn't be the first person this has happened to.

Emotions have to be all over the place. I hope the reunion goes well for you, and them!

Sat Feb 18, 2023 2:18 pm

Wow!, I'm not sure how I'd handle that, good luck with the meet up!

Sat Feb 18, 2023 2:30 pm

wow! hope it goes well and that your own family are ok with it.

I have a relative who was adopted within the family but she was never told that her aunt was really her mother. other family members knew but were sworn to secrecy due to the stigma of unmarried mothers back in the 50s. and so it continued until she recently found out via ancestry.com and it was a bit of a shock to say the least, especially as both her mothers had died. I have to confess that I claimed I had no idea when questioned :oops:

Sat Feb 18, 2023 3:04 pm

Congrats Gramps!!

Sat Feb 18, 2023 3:33 pm

:D thats awesome!

Sat Feb 18, 2023 3:45 pm

yikes I hope you dont get hit with back child support!! justkidding this is awesome!! ( we have 6 kids&12 or more grand kids that I know of) I reckon your fireing order 1432 was fireing on all 4 back in the 70's!!! I wonder witch one needs a kidney..... is her mother still around?

Sat Feb 18, 2023 4:37 pm

You'll have to go out and get that "Proud Dad" t-shirt pronto. :D

Sat Feb 18, 2023 4:46 pm

Holy shit, that is crazy!

I have no idea how you are feeling but I can see being totally overwhelmed with this news.

Sat Feb 18, 2023 4:50 pm

Sounds like you won't even need to bother this guy !!!!

Sat Feb 18, 2023 4:56 pm

This being California, Land of Lawsuits, I'd get some good legal advice pronto.

Sat Feb 18, 2023 5:09 pm

KTPhil wrote: This being California, Land of Lawsuits, I'd get some good legal advice pronto.

X2. Congratulations, ZF.

Sat Feb 18, 2023 5:22 pm

That's both crazy and exciting! To have this family you knew nothing about until that email or call.

Just curious if you want to share. How did Ancestery.com find you? Are you a member or?

Sat Feb 18, 2023 6:30 pm

i want to know how she feels about VW's?! is it genetic?!

Sat Feb 18, 2023 7:00 pm

And Mrs. Z is instantly a step-grammy to 6. :D

Sat Feb 18, 2023 7:39 pm

A girl i used to date in the late 80s found out recently that the man she thought was her her Dad this whole time really was Not her Dad after he had passed away via DNA. it really hit her hard.

Sun Feb 19, 2023 6:33 am

Congratulations Zundfolge1432 dad/grandpa. I hope the reunion goes well.

Zundfolge1432 wrote: Last week Valentine’s Day around lunchtime I get a text message. It seems odd saying it’s from Ancestry.com and says I’ve been identified as a match to a lady in California and her six kids. Now as it turns out I did live in California in 1979-80. Looking further I am a parent to this woman and it is for real no bullshit.

She is in fact my daughter and the kids are my grandchildren. WTF. Still skeptical I begin texting her and it gets down to pictures. I’ve got pics of her mom from back in the day, now we’re cooking. She sends me pics of herself and it becomes obvious to me this 42 year old girl is my baby I never knew. Why ?

Her mom and I had what you may call a lovers spat and parted company. Turns out she was pregnant and I never knew anything about it, she just had that baby and never told me. DNA evidence is about 99. 9 accurate but pictures and a few conversations nailed it down for me and suddenly I’m a dad and a grandpa times 6. How do you even begin to process this info?

A rush of emotions and memories from over 40 years ago come in waves. We are already planning on a visit. I am not ashamed to say I’ve cried several times tears of joy and some sadness that I missed out on her growing up. I’m going to gone from here getting to know my new family. 😀

Sun Feb 19, 2023 4:48 pm

iowegian wrote: And Mrs. Z is instantly a step-grammy to 6. :D

That's a complication. :lol:
Hopefully enough time has passed that she'll be cool with it.
My cousin signed up for one of those, I guess you have to opt in to agree to share your connections with the world and the world share theirs with you. There was nothing quite as dramatic as six new grandkids, but lot's of hanky panky and interesting bits. People not being related to their lifelong "father", parents turning out to be aunt and uncle, etc. And here with thought the baby boomers invented extramarital sex. :lol:

Sun Feb 19, 2023 7:21 pm

Zeen wrote:
... My cousin signed up for one of those, I guess you have to opt in to agree to share your connections with the world and the world share theirs with you. There was nothing quite as dramatic as six new grandkids, but lot's of hanky panky and interesting bits. People not being related to their lifelong "father", parents turning out to be aunt and uncle, etc. And here with thought the baby boomers invented extramarital sex. :lol:

Hmmm, we have a lost cousin in the world somewhere, as we found out that my grandparents made my dad's sister give up her baby (it was the mid-70's and she was unmarried, but 30 and a teacher, so wtf?) unbeknownst to us all. She passed of a glioblastoma 5 years later.

My grandfather mentioned it in passing to my uncle years after my grandma had passed, and my uncle, who was a bit gobsmacked as neither grandparent had bothered to say anything (done and dusted in their minds) to the rest of us, let us all know. This cousin would be the only male as we're all girls on my dad's side. I should sign up.

Sun Feb 19, 2023 9:08 pm

Z I do wish you the best of luck. That is a lot to absorb at one time...

DNA tests can be fascinating but you have to be aware that you might find out unexpected things.
We know two situations (one neighbor and one relative) where both families considered themselves to be 100% white American and were also raging racists. DNA came back and showed them to be between 8% and 12% African American. "Oh but the tests *must* be wrong!".