GoFundMe WanderLust Vanlife Projects

[Zeitgeist 13]

That van looked like something a Reality TV producer conjured up to represent a high concept of van-life...one without any real understanding of what it's like to actually live from moment to moment in a tiny space with two people. Living in a van is unmitigated chaos from day one until you're sick of that shit, and call daddy to wire you the funds for a one-way back home.

Air-brushed silliness. Period.
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Casey--

'89 Bluestar ALH w/12mm Waldo pump, PP764 and GT2052
'01 Weekender --> full camper
y u rune klassik?

[notchboy]

[Westfalia73]

[TDCTDI]

[notchboy]

[Abscate]

[skills@eurocarsplus]

[curtp07]

Hahahahahahha...

Hahahahahahhaha...
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Subaru

[richparker]

[wcfvw69]

[Xevin]

you guys are killing me
It's Saturday, anyone see Busdaddy at the clubs?
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Keep on Busin'

[Wasted youth]

[nemobuscaptain]

[Wasted youth]

I got to thinking about this today. If I had the time...

I would make a very similar video. But it would be like 180* out from what we keep seeing. So, like the intro would cue to Thompson Twins Hold Me Now. Fade from black to the sound of cops banging on the door of my 1970 VW bus/van as I wake up. Red and blue flashing lights illuminating the inside of my bus/van. I mean, it would be impractical to actually get that on film by myself, but you get the idea.

Next scene, where I come out of Dollar Tree with my sad bag of disgusting groceries gloating about how much money I saved and find the wind-wing is busted out and there is glass all over the seat and parking lot. They took my Ray Bans.

Then we have the raining scene trying to change a tire in the woods, but the jack keeps sinking into the soft soil as my bus/van dangerously leans towards me. I finally get it stable with tree branches under the jack, but can't get two of the lug nuts loose. I round off the end of them and the lug wrench as I stand on it and slip off, scraping my ankle. I get my bike off the back rack, pedal into town for help and return with some help that just cost me $75 for the first hour... cheap, too! Because it took four hours to make this happen, the rain has stopped and its a nice late Saturday afternoon with clearing skies. Yay! It's gonna work out after all! We get to the bus/van and find Coors Light beer cans on the ground and a shotgun blast peppering my driver's door. I now have a Kenny Chesney bumper sticker where I once had no sticker at all.

Forgoing the shit-kicking redneck countryside, I run a Craigslist ad for Handyman service in the Los Angeles area and travel that way. Surely, I could make some cash for a couple weeks of working and just live at the beach or squat on the UCLA campus. In Indio, California, I meet this smoking hot chick at the AM/PM minimart. She has this cutest little puppy pit bull, and we totally hit it off. She wants to go to LA, too! Totally rad!

Next scene: We are east of Palm Springs and the puppy shits on her lap. She wigs out, puppy now on floor near my feet, and the fantastic smell of sickly dog poo fills the 109* air inside the bus/van. Wish I had A/C.

Next scene: I am noticing this super hot chick who smokes the same cigarettes as me... seems to be smoking lot of them. Unclear where the puppy went to and the entire van/bus now smells like hot and dried dogshit. Some of it is smeared and dried on the seat belt. I push on. You know, like, totally got to get to the beach! It's fuggin' RAD, man! Cue: Any music from Joe Walsh.

Too bad my engine overheated buffeting the hot high winds roaring over Beaumont Pass and into the Palm Springs area. I break down west of Cabazon. Did I melt a piston?

At this point, we go to the drone camera where we see my bus on the side of Interstate 10 with a Riverside County Sherriff's squad car behind it. You can see him with his arms folded across his chest and my buttcrack as I try to peer into the void of the engine bay. New girlfriend is obviously badgering the Deputy, and from the camera drone, you can see him point her to sit down on the side of the road as she flips him the bird. Drone cam shows CHP rolling up and stopping behind Deputy cruiser as most of the traffic seems to be slowing down to look. Cue: Bad Company's Rock n' Roll Fantasy.

Turns out my engine died not from overheating working its way through those hot headwinds, it died because the generator belt came loose from that completely useless fake pulley that can't hold a tension. So the battery eventually went flat, and I lost primary ignition. Good thing I didn't do any serious damage... Turns out my exhaust valves really needed adjusting, too. Wonder why the exhaust valves needed so much adjusting after driving at 65 MPH in those headwinds in 109* hot day with no generator turning? Sure wish I had understood what that little light was on the bottom of the speedometer. Cue: Metallica's Trapped Under Ice.

Next Scene: I'm talking to the camera making out like it's cool, because I'm so right-on with being connected to the world and the Samba Community. You can see me on the laptop, sick puppy in my lap. New Girlfriend furiously texting multiple people from front seat, bitching about how fucking hot it is. Dog seems to be mine now. It suddenly occurs to me that when I met this chick she was alone and without a car in Indio. I make light laughter about this for the video, but even the tiniest of cell phone screens my audience might have cannot hide my obvious fear. Cue: Lou Reed's Walk on the Wild Side.

Yay! The Samba guys got me all straightened out! One of them comes to my rescue! Cue: Any song from Jimmy Buffet. I enlist the help of the local Samba guy and quickly consume the rest of my funds buying him beer and a used but good German generator pulley along with my inferior, ill-fitting Chinese valve cover gaskets and belt from AutoZone. Samba dude warns me repeatedly to slow down, learn how to properly set my timing and find that missing 'rear apron' tin piece, whatever the hell that thingy is. He tried to show me how to do static timing, but that new girlfriend was a problem.
Scene: lots of camera shake and gaffer problems as new girlfriend can't seem to handle operating the camera well. Samba dude seems to want to no longer be a part of this, and keeps looking at the camera.

We are back on the road! New girlfriend has totally mellowed out after I bought her three packs of Marlboro Menthol 100's at a bargain price of $7.49 each. I just put it on the Visa. But she is still a little fidgety and smells a little like vitamin B and sweat. Keeps moving her mouth, too, but I don't think she's saying anything. Scene: Wind blowing through her stringy hair, puppy sprawled out on rear floor with a new pool of super soft feces. Cue: Grateful Dead's Touch of Grey.


Next: The LA Basin, Santa Monica and a frightening encounter with some Nortenos gangbangers at the Rosemead Swap Meet. Cue: Closing song with Phantogram's Running from the Cops

[timvw7476]

Notchboy question/ quote> 'why isn't he in a bikini with his balls hanging out?'

Answer: Because nobody wants to see those. Nobody. : l


Also, it's a known phenomena that grads leave USC campus batshit crazy, so I'll
forgive sweetcheeks her wanderlust & leave it at that. Something in the bottled water down there. Or sunstroke. Maybe both.

[airschooled]

Thread Of The Year. Thanks Steve and Don.

Sincerely,
RobbieOnlyMoochedOffRichAndAndrewForDaysLastYear
_________________
Learn how your vintage VW works. And why it doesn't!
One-on-one tech help for your Volkswagen:
www.airschooled.com

[TDCTDI]

Good thing your story ended there, everyone would have had too much fun at your expense when you found out that your pissed off new girlfriend wasn't, cue Lou Reeds "Take a walk on th wild side"
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Everybody born before 1975 has a story, good, bad, or indifferent, about a VW.


GOFUNDYOURSELF, quit asking everyone to do it for you!


An air cooled VW will make you a hoarder.


Do something, anything, to your project every day, and you will eventually complete it.

[Xevin]

[Bleyseng]

That was too funny! I checked out all the posts of Wandxr and the pics are pretty well setup although some show the real mess of living in a van....
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70 Ghia Black convert-9/69 build date-stock w/133k 1600 SP-barn find now with a rebuilt tranny and engine
77 Westy 2.0L w/Ljet, Camper Special engine-95hp and with LSD!(sold)
76 Porsche 914 2.1L L20c, 120hp Djet (sold)
87 Syncro Westy Titan Red 2.1L 2 knob 100k miles

[airschooled]

Y'all wanna see REAL VanLife?

You get all these rad vegan meals any time you want! It's the cheapest way to eat and maintain a 3,600 calorie diet and a lethal dose of sodium. You only have to trespass a little for Real Life Experiences like this!

Sometimes, you even get to sleep in some of the most desired locations on the planet. Like this 24-hr parking lot on Manhattan's Upper East Side! Who says you need the Rat Race to live such a luxurious life?

My favorite part of VanLife though, was how neat and tidy my interior stayed all the time. Why, here's a shot where I lived in Chicago and spent six hours cleaning my interior. Yeah, isn't is so spacious and homey? Can't even see the piss jugs!

I love you guys.
Robbie
_________________
Learn how your vintage VW works. And why it doesn't!
One-on-one tech help for your Volkswagen:
www.airschooled.com