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msinabottle Samba Member
Joined: September 20, 2005 Posts: 3492 Location: Denver Area, Colorado
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:26 am Post subject: Carat Christmas Carol, or 'The Twelve Bills of Christmas' |
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This won't be as nice as my Hot Buttered Rum recipe was last year, but here is my Christmas encapsulation of good wishes to you all:
Carat Christmas Carol, or 'The Twelve Bills of Christmas'
Just as I got my Christmas bills, I found my Van would need…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV…
After I paid all those bills, I found my Van would need…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
After I paid all those other bills, I found my Van would need…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
After I paid those still other bills, I found my Van would need…
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
Once I’d paid off all the bills from that, I found my Van would need…
NEW VALVES AND RINGS!
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
My bonus check completely gone, I found my Van would need…
Six feet of tubing…
NEW VALVES AND RINGS!
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
Now working fifty hours a week, I found my Van would need…
Seven splices soldered…
Six feet of tubing…
NEW VALVES AND RINGS!
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
Now max-ing out a credit card, I found my Van would need…
Eight quarts of Prestone!
Seven splices soldered…
Six feet of tubing…
NEW VALVES AND RINGS!
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
After I’d sold a kidney, I found my Van would need…
Non-nixed emissions!
Eight quarts of Prestone!
Seven splices soldered…
Six feet of tubing…
NEW VALVES AND RINGS!
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
I sued my old mechanic, found my Van would need…
Transmission tear-down!
Non-nixed emissions!
Eight quarts of Prestone!
Seven splices soldered…
Six feet of tubing…
NEW VALVES AND RINGS!
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
I sold the house, lived in the Van, and found that it would need…
Eleven Westy latches!
Transmission tear-down!
Non-nixed emissions!
Eight quarts of Prestone!
Seven splices soldered…
Six feet of tubing…
NEW VALVES AND RINGS!
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
Too poor to buy a tank of gas, I found my Van would need…
Tags, tent, and tuning!
Eleven Westy latches!
Transmission tear-down!
Non-nixed emissions!
Eight quarts of Prestone!
Seven splices soldered…
Six feet of tubing…
NEW VALVES AND RINGS!
Four Wiseco pistons…
Three fuel injectors…
Two brand new heads… and…
A ‘remove and replace’ on each CV!
Merry Christmas, Chappy Channukkah, Righteous Ramadan, Terrific Tet, and… Whatever Atheists do.
Best! _________________ 'Winston,' '84 1.9 WBX Westy
Vanagon Poet Laureate: "I have suffered in
many ways, but never, never, never in silence." |
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CF Samba Member
Joined: February 17, 2005 Posts: 802
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:11 am Post subject: |
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good job |
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DubOne Samba Member
Joined: November 19, 2007 Posts: 13 Location: Jax Florida
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:30 am Post subject: |
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nice one man! sounds all too realistic |
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bucko Samba Member
Joined: December 09, 2004 Posts: 2617 Location: Coppell, Texas
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:14 am Post subject: |
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That almost put me into the Christmas spirit...... _________________ Current VW drives: 1984 Westfalia
Past VW drives: 1967 Beetle, 1973 Beetle, 1977 Bus, 1971 Military Type 181 |
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BoneStock67 Samba Member
Joined: January 27, 2006 Posts: 439 Location: New Jersey
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:10 am Post subject: |
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I sang (most of) it for my kids this morning.
They didn't really get it, but I thought it was a riot. _________________ 1986 Wolfsburg Westfalia Weekender 2.1L stock
1967 Beetle, now becoming my daily driver again, after a long rest in the garage
"There are two possible outcomes: if the result confirms the hypothesis, then you've made a measurement. If the result is contrary to the hypothesis, then you've made a discovery.” -Enrico Fermi |
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wavanagon Samba Member
Joined: September 17, 2007 Posts: 400 Location: Everett, WA
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funagon Samba Member
Joined: March 09, 2006 Posts: 1308 Location: SLC, UT
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:39 am Post subject: hooray! |
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Hooray! excellent work, Mr. msinabottle. The next time a newbie asks "Are these things expensive to fix?" I will refer them to this carol of holiday good cheer. _________________ 1990 GL 7-passenger
2.2 liter WBX |
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Steelhead Samba Member
Joined: February 25, 2007 Posts: 1791 Location: Kentfield, CA
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:52 am Post subject: |
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hahaha...well done! _________________ '77 Bay Window / '89 Caratsburg (aka. the Stormtrooper) |
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MootPoint Samba Member
Joined: September 16, 2006 Posts: 862 Location: ABQ, NM
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:12 am Post subject: |
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What? No "wtf" comment from RoachGhia? _________________ 1984 Westy with tencentlife power! |
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lovedavdubs Samba Member
Joined: April 30, 2004 Posts: 1597 Location: New York, NY.
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:38 am Post subject: |
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Music to my ears! Well done. You should make a Youtube video. I think I'm going to go home and string up the lights now. _________________ 82 Air-cooled Westy (Lola)...My other vehicle is a subway. |
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foodeater Samba Member
Joined: July 13, 2007 Posts: 1318 Location: Newburgh, NY
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:23 pm Post subject: |
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I was looking for that roachghia comment too. Maybe he's out buying his Dodge Caravan. _________________ 89 Bluestar-2.5 Subaru Powered-RIP
'84 Westy Tiico-daily driver-sold
'82 Caddy diesel-sold
'87 Vanagon Syncro-RIP
'81 diesel rabbit-sold
'82 Vanagon auto-RIP |
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K58 Samba Member
Joined: July 01, 2006 Posts: 1173 Location: Santa Barbara
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:54 am Post subject: |
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wtf
standing in for roachghia while test driving Dodge |
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cityside Samba Member
Joined: October 12, 2006 Posts: 84 Location: monterey bay
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:23 am Post subject: |
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Atheists enjoy watching the kids enjoy whichever _________________ ----------------------
There are only two things in life, ... but I forget what they are.
'89 westy
'90 325ci |
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16CVs Samba Member
Joined: February 22, 2004 Posts: 4024 Location: Redwood City, California
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:03 pm Post subject: 12 holiday verses |
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What about Kwanza? |
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levi Samba Member
Joined: February 11, 2005 Posts: 5522 Location: Las Vegas
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:25 pm Post subject: Re: 12 holiday verses |
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stacy schneider wrote: |
What about Kwanza? |
WtF ? _________________ One of these days I'm gonna settle down,
but till I do I won't be hangin round.
Going down that long lonesome highway,
gonna see life my way
https://youtu.be/cSrL0BXsO40 |
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msinabottle Samba Member
Joined: September 20, 2005 Posts: 3492 Location: Denver Area, Colorado
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:30 pm Post subject: A Holiday Bump |
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Rather than re-post this song celebrating the season, and our vans, I just bump the old thread, with renewed fond best wishes for 2010's holidays, and 2011 to come.
Best! _________________ 'Winston,' '84 1.9 WBX Westy
Vanagon Poet Laureate: "I have suffered in
many ways, but never, never, never in silence." |
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Alaric.H Samba Member
Joined: March 28, 2009 Posts: 2529 Location: Sandy Springs GA
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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'Twas
the night before Christmas, And all through the trails,
Every 4x4 stranded, Their progress like snails.
They had no shovels, No rope and no winch,
No CB, no cell-phone, To get out of their pinch.
When out from a mud pit, There arose such a clatter;
All the 'wheelers came running To see what was the matter.
I saw some poor Toyota All covered in crud;
He had blown his motor trying to get free of the mud.
As he stood there I noticed His glowing red face,
And I knew in an instant He wanted out of this place.
I glanced at his roof, It was all I could see;
He pleaded for help From my Syncro and from me.
So I sprang to the front Of my trusty old Van,
Pulled out the tow strap, Said "Hook 'er up, man!"
He went for a swim In the watery hell, and
I laughed as he turned brown, And started to smell.
He hooked up the strap to his buried front hook,
I put a coat on the line Like it says in the book.
I pulled him out quickly, A very fast session;
And I charged him a C-note, To teach him a lesson.
I then drove my Syncro through the same mud in low gear;
No problem for me, 'Cause I 'm locked front and rear!
I wound down my window as I drove out of sight,
And smugly yelled "Next time Stay home Christmas night!" |
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msinabottle Samba Member
Joined: September 20, 2005 Posts: 3492 Location: Denver Area, Colorado
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 4:09 pm Post subject: Merry Vanagon Christmas! Ergo, Bump |
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Bump.
A merry Christmas and a very happy new year to us all, with our vans running well, safely, CHEAPLY, and taking us all to wonderful places full of wonder and beauty!
Best! _________________ 'Winston,' '84 1.9 WBX Westy
Vanagon Poet Laureate: "I have suffered in
many ways, but never, never, never in silence." |
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