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mynameismud
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:22 pm    Post subject: Cremation question Reply with quote

My wife and I have been trying to figure out what we should have done with our ashes once we are cremated. We have 2 boys- 10 and almost 17, and I for one, can't see them packing urns around for years or wanting to do something with them other then keep the urns in a closet.. Laughing . On the other hand, if we request that our ashes be spread somewhere, would there be a need for them to "visit" the place in which the ashes were spread? I personally feel that men/guys would not feel the guilt to visit a place (whether it be a grave-site or a designated "ash-spreading site" as a woman might feel. I for one, haven't a clue as to what should be done with my ashes, flush 'em? bury them and plant a tree?
For those who have had parents / relatives cremated at their request, have you felt the need / guilt to visit the place (if so requested) in which their ashes were spread?
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69 Jim
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Richard Pryor wanted his ashes mixed with douchepowder so he could go in one more time. Surprised
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EdW
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shoot 'em into space. If your kids come for a visit, you'll know they're swimming in gravy!
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Terry Cloyd
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Cremation question Reply with quote

mynameismud wrote:
My wife and I have been trying to figure out what we should have done with our ashes once we are cremated. We have 2 boys- 10 and almost 17, and I for one, can't see them packing urns around for years or wanting to do something with them other then keep the urns in a closet.. Laughing . On the other hand, if we request that our ashes be spread somewhere, would there be a need for them to "visit" the place in which the ashes were spread? I personally feel that men/guys would not feel the guilt to visit a place (whether it be a grave-site or a designated "ash-spreading site" as a woman might feel. I for one, haven't a clue as to what should be done with my ashes, flush 'em? bury them and plant a tree?
For those who have had parents / relatives cremated at their request, have you felt the need / guilt to visit the place (if so requested) in which their ashes were spread?


I would wait until your oldest boy is about 40 years old before you think about it Rolling Eyes
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EdW
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Cremation question Reply with quote

Terry Cloyd wrote:
mynameismud wrote:
My wife and I have been trying to figure out what we should have done with our ashes once we are cremated. We have 2 boys- 10 and almost 17, and I for one, can't see them packing urns around for years or wanting to do something with them other then keep the urns in a closet.. Laughing . On the other hand, if we request that our ashes be spread somewhere, would there be a need for them to "visit" the place in which the ashes were spread? I personally feel that men/guys would not feel the guilt to visit a place (whether it be a grave-site or a designated "ash-spreading site" as a woman might feel. I for one, haven't a clue as to what should be done with my ashes, flush 'em? bury them and plant a tree?
For those who have had parents / relatives cremated at their request, have you felt the need / guilt to visit the place (if so requested) in which their ashes were spread?


I would wait until your oldest boy is about 40 years old before you think about it Rolling Eyes


LOL, that's it! Don't plan ahead at all for another 23 years!! Laughing
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mynameismud
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:52 pm    Post subject: Re: Cremation question Reply with quote

Terry Cloyd wrote:

I would wait until your oldest boy is about 40 years old before you think about it Rolling Eyes


exactly...that answers the question and makes perfect sense, wait until something happens.. Rolling Eyes
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chickengeorge
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like visiting my dad's grave just cause it's a place where I like to think. I get nachos from Taco Time and go and sit. There's a small tree with a wind chime that I always end up untangling. It shouldn't be a matter of guilt any fucking way. They should WANT to visit the place. Unless, of course it's in the middle of nowhere. I usually visit my dad's grave on the way up to 69Jim's house, as it's only a couple miles away. I make it a "visit old dusty guys" trip.
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gonebuggy
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

With my grandparents on my mothers side, we never did anything with the ashes. Just left them to the crematorium.

Personally I think that graves and urns are a reminder that someone is dead. I prefer to look through old family albums to reminisce and remember them. For me that's way it's more focused on the good times when they were alive, not the fact they have ceased to be.

Everyone greave differently though,

Alex
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splitboy
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:39 pm    Post subject: Cremation question Reply with quote

I'm with gonebuggy. My sis dragged our father's urn around for years and if his ashes had been scattered to the four winds, like he wanted, no matter where you went he'd be there.

And I second the old family pics cause my granny gave me the entire box going all the way back to the early days of photogtraphy. Had a relative named Saint Elmo something or other. nice to have names to go with the pics too.

Wink
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can get turned into a diamond.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I spread some of a dear friend's cremains at a favorite spot at his favorite road-racing circuit. His widow thought it was great. Very Happy
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69 Jim
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickengeorge wrote:
I like visiting my dad's grave just cause it's a place where I like to think. I get nachos from Taco Time and go and sit. There's a small tree with a wind chime that I always end up untangling. It shouldn't be a matter of guilt any fucking way. They should WANT to visit the place. Unless, of course it's in the middle of nowhere. I usually visit my dad's grave on the way up to 69Jim's house, as it's only a couple miles away. I make it a "visit old dusty guys" trip.



Ever been kicked in the pussy by an old guy? I can't believe how much smarter I am than you and yet I am only ten years older. Laughing
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

69 Jim wrote:
Ever been kicked in the pussy by an old guy?


Nope, can't say I have. Sorry about your luck. Very Happy
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Terry Cloyd
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 9:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Cremation question Reply with quote

mynameismud wrote:
Terry Cloyd wrote:

I would wait until your oldest boy is about 40 years old before you think about it Rolling Eyes


exactly...that answers the question and makes perfect sense, wait until something happens.. Rolling Eyes


Well, if you have a plan about your life, then call God and tell him what your plan is. He needs a good laugh Laughing
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:29 pm    Post subject: Re: Cremation question Reply with quote

Terry Cloyd wrote:
mynameismud wrote:
Terry Cloyd wrote:

I would wait until your oldest boy is about 40 years old before you think about it Rolling Eyes


exactly...that answers the question and makes perfect sense, wait until something happens.. Rolling Eyes


Well, if you have a plan about your life, then call God and tell him what your plan is. He needs a good laugh Laughing


You have his number? I seem to have lost it Laughing
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:11 am    Post subject: Re: Cremation question Reply with quote

Terry Cloyd wrote:
mynameismud wrote:
My wife and I have been trying to figure out what we should have done with our ashes once we are cremated. We have 2 boys- 10 and almost 17, and I for one, can't see them packing urns around for years or wanting to do something with them other then keep the urns in a closet.. Laughing . On the other hand, if we request that our ashes be spread somewhere, would there be a need for them to "visit" the place in which the ashes were spread? I personally feel that men/guys would not feel the guilt to visit a place (whether it be a grave-site or a designated "ash-spreading site" as a woman might feel. I for one, haven't a clue as to what should be done with my ashes, flush 'em? bury them and plant a tree?
For those who have had parents / relatives cremated at their request, have you felt the need / guilt to visit the place (if so requested) in which their ashes were spread?


I would wait until your oldest boy is about 40 years old before you think about it Rolling Eyes


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd say that I don't feel the need to visit any grave site/ash site, whatever. I know that I carry a bit of those I care about with me in my heart. A person is not their ashes, body, or any of that jazz. JMO. My pop STILL had my mom mom in her bedroom closet, she died in 97. I think it would be better to just let go, grieve and let that crap out. I know when I die, I would appreciate my wishes being followed, but damn, if someone wants to spend time with me, they better do it now, when it counts:)
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you or your Wife and Kids have a favorite place that you enjoy going to or visiting? Keep that in mind. My Brother's ashes were placed in Monterey Bay in California because he always liked to hang out there. I have no idea where my Grandparents, various Aunt and Uncles, and a few Cousins are buried. If I did I do not think that I would visit their sites but I can go to Monterey Bay, breathe the ocean air, kick the sand around and know that my Brother is there. And me, my ashes are going back to Hawaii where I was born....................
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 5:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

let vanhag take care of them
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 6:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi,

Deciding what to have done with your body is a good thing.

Deciding what to do about your ashes? Let those who are left behind do whatever would be meaningful to them. Some want to carry Dad around for years, some want to bury Him in a conventional cemetery, some want to spread the ashes in a meaningful place. Don't dictate how they should grieve and remember you, to each their own.

Do make sure you leave a will and that important papers are with someone who will know where they are, pay off your all your bills and prepay your final arrangements. Don't worry about the rest. Just Don't burden your children with your passing but leave them free to remember and love you.

Dave
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