To Vanagoners

[DAIZEE]

I have been trying to respond by PMs to all the posts from my thread. I don't want to ignore your kindness and yes some meanness. I'm the kind of person who acknowledges people. I'm up to page 3 now. I get to posts and the support overwhelms me and I cry again. You should know I cry A LOT. Happy, sad, mad, etc...

I have had many many many PM's and now I am torn. I don't mean to reject your offers of $$$. I don't like the word reject. It's really really hard for me to accept and so I am caught between two positions. Your support/caring is really something. For me who lives a very quiet, lonely (now don't jump on that word - its just a word) life and I've always been the care giver. Even accepting thank you's is awkward for me.

What I'd like to do for now is wait for Giles' report. I am asking for an estimate of parts costs and labor costs and of course diagnosis. I don't know when I'll get that and will pay for his consult. Totally depending on his report, I will then make my decision of what will happen.

I don't want any of you to think I am ignoring your offers, its awkward for me and I will have to do some very deep thinking and decision making.

To all those positive people = you are all the best, you are SAMBA

To all the negative people = you could be so much more but I accept you as being you.

Time. Please I'm not looking for responses here. I just want my reply out there. Z