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Max Welton Samba Member
Joined: May 19, 2003 Posts: 10697 Location: Black Forest, CO
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 10:03 am Post subject: Death in the family |
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Yesterday I got a call from my son's company. He had called in sick last week and they hadn't heard from him since. It wasn't like him and they were worried. I was on record as his emergency contact. The fire dept was called to do a wellness check and they found him dead in his apartment. He had a heart condition and was very overweight. He was 39.
So what follows for me is a blizzard of new experiences. Find a mortuary. Call his landlord. Clean out his apartment. Find out if he has stuff that needs to be returned to his employer. Figure out what to do with his car.
My son and I hadn't talked in over a year. I don't know that we could have done anything different on that score but there is a lot of guilt that comes with it regardless.
Hug your loved ones. Don't loose touch. You just never know.
Max _________________ 1967 Type-3 Fastback
Under the Knife https://shoptalkforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=151582
Home Stretch https://www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/viewtopic.php?t=767836 |
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finster Samba Member
Joined: May 26, 2012 Posts: 7934 Location: north o' the border
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 10:37 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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sorry for your loss and that it happened in such a way as this. initially there will be plenty to arrange and organise then there will be a lot to process emotionally. hopefully you have family and friends for support... _________________ "we're here on Earth to fart around" kurt vonnegut
nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect... |
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Max Welton Samba Member
Joined: May 19, 2003 Posts: 10697 Location: Black Forest, CO
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56Cabrio Samba Member
Joined: May 22, 2008 Posts: 1899 Location: San Fernando Valley, CA
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cbeck Samba Member
Joined: January 14, 2014 Posts: 2495 Location: high ridge, mo
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 11:54 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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Sorry for your loss. Last year was a cluster cleaning up my mom’s estate.
Great news last week, our first grandson was born 8 days ago.
Not so great. This past Saturday, our 34 th anniversary, our first grand daughter was still born with out a heart beat at 24 weeks. _________________ My cut in half and rebuild thread
www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/viewtopic.php?t=647779 |
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Cusser Samba Member
Joined: October 02, 2006 Posts: 31360 Location: Hot Arizona
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my59 Samba Member
Joined: August 13, 2003 Posts: 3790 Location: connecting the dots
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 4:06 pm Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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That simply sucks, sorry for you loss. Parents are not supposed to outlive their offspring. _________________ my59: Well son, my grandfather died before I got to drive it, so does that answer your question?
our79: sunroof bus w/camper interior and 2.0 FI
Other:'12 Jetta, '77 Benz 300D, and a 74 MG Midget. |
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busdaddy Samba Member
Joined: February 12, 2004 Posts: 51121 Location: Surrey B.C. Canada, but thinking of Ukraine
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 4:26 pm Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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I agree with all of the above, what terrible news, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Ruined my day to hear that, but at the same time it reinforced my determination to try and maintain a good relationship with my kids, even if they get under my skin now and then. _________________ Rust NEVER sleeps and stock never goes out of style.
Please don't PM technical questions, ask your problem in public so everyone can play along. If you think it's too stupid post it here
Stop dead photo links! Post your photos to The Samba Gallery!
Слава Україні! |
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Joe 20 Samba Member
Joined: August 27, 2005 Posts: 655 Location: Ohio
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 7:32 pm Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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May the Lord be of comfort to you and your family. You are in my prayers. _________________ "Someday the world is gonna be populated by nothing but Volkswagens'" Corporal Klairvoy |
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scottyrocks Samba Member
Joined: August 19, 2016 Posts: 2660 Location: Long Island, NY
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 9:32 pm Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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My sincerest condolences. _________________ “If you care for a thing long enough, it takes on a life of its own, doesn't it? Mending old things, preserving them, looking after them – on some level there's no rational grounds for it.”
– D. Tartt, 'The Goldfinch' |
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Emily's Owner Samba Member
Joined: January 18, 2004 Posts: 977 Location: Canby, Oregon
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 9:48 pm Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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My deepest sympathies Max, so sorry to hear. _________________ Xargaret
ITMC - OG Den Mother
What (and I cannot stress this enough) The Actual Fuck?!
1974 Transporter
2023 Subaru Outback |
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Abscate Samba Member
Joined: October 05, 2014 Posts: 22639 Location: NYC/Upstate/ROW
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Posted: Thu May 26, 2022 10:54 pm Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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Losing a child at any age eventually leads you to appreciating children everywhere. Even 35 years later, I can still cry somewhat randomly over this _________________ .ssS! |
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Marcdeb Samba Member
Joined: May 22, 2019 Posts: 3031 Location: Vermont
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 2:31 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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I can't imagine what you are going through, and the mix of emotions you must be having. Life can be so unfair. Try to cherish all the good memories and time will ease your sadness. My sincere condolences. _________________ Marc
68 Karmann Ghia Cabrio Autostick
71 Karmann Ghia Cabrio
Previously Owned:
2011 VW EOS Hard Top Conv
2008 Saab 9-3 2.0T Conv
2003 Saab 9-3 SE Conv
2001 Saab 9-3 Conv
1998 BMW 3 Series Conv
1997 Saab 900 Conv
1997 Mazda Miata
68 Ghia Vert Survivor with 22,350 miles: https://www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/viewtopic.php?t=768107&highlight=
71 Ghia Vert Restoration: https://www.thesamba.com/vw/forum/viewtopic.php?t=726710&postorder=asc |
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gt1953 Samba Member
Joined: May 08, 2002 Posts: 13846 Location: White Mountains Arizona
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 6:38 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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My condolances to you. _________________ Volkswagen: We tune what we drive.
Numbers Matching VW's are getting harder to find. Source out the most Stock vehicle and keep that way. You will be glad you did.
72 type 1
72 Squareback
({59 Euro bug, 62, 63, 67, 68, 69, 73 type ones 68 & 69 type two, 68 Ghia all sold}) |
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74 Thing Samba Member
Joined: September 02, 2004 Posts: 7389
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 7:49 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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My condolences. |
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jinx758 Samba Member
Joined: October 04, 2014 Posts: 689 Location: Texas
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 8:04 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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So, so sorry to hear of your loss ... !
PLEASE DO THIS :
1) allow yourself to grieve. Don't hold back - this is normal and healthy (both for you, family, & friends).
2) after the arrangements are done find a quiet place by yourself. Write your son a letter and tell him everything you would've said or think he needs to hear . He will see/get the message and you may fell a little bit of closure. Show it to no one, this is between you and your son - destroy it afterwards.
This has helped others who were harboring ill emotions considering loss, survivors guilt, & etc..
Gentle blessings ...
jinx
In 2000 my Mom passed in Az when I was in Tx. I fastened a dozen red carnations onto a board with her name & dates. I found a stream & let it float away till it went around a bend while telling her what I felt I needed to say. I still miss her & wish I could hear her voice one more time. _________________ " It's not valuable unless you learn something from an experience. " Henry Ford
It's not unlike the same difference
You can't push a rope
VALVES (cold)
POINTS
TIMING
CARB (fully warmed engine)
SCRAPE ALL GROUNDS
My Craigslist rescued 100 footer :
1971 Standard Bug
1776cc dual port
034 distributor
38mm EGAS Carburetor |
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stevemariott Samba Member
Joined: November 09, 2003 Posts: 1051 Location: Portland, OR
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 8:40 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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My sincere condolences, Max. _________________ 1963 Manx copy
1968 Bus |
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Dave Samba Elder
Joined: July 11, 2002 Posts: 2692 Location: The Forest Moon of Endor, in the Redwoods
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 8:40 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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So very sorry, Max and family, I am only a private message away, should you feel the need to lean on someone, or bend an ear.. _________________ 2003 Samba Chummie Winner- Best Story
"Those that matter, don't mind,
and those that mind, don't matter" |
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Jon Schmid Samba Member
Joined: May 29, 2012 Posts: 2038 Location: Southern California
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 9:05 am Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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My sincere condolences to you and your family, Max. |
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LAGrunthaner Samba Member
Joined: March 18, 2007 Posts: 5505 Location: 1st Coast
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2022 6:57 pm Post subject: Re: Death in the family |
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Max, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear son. When you have gotten through all the logistics think about what jinx758 said as it is a very therapeutic method of coping. I hope reading all of these posts offer some comfort to you and your family.
Max Welton wrote: |
Yesterday I got a call from my son's company. He had called in sick last week and they hadn't heard from him since. It wasn't like him and they were worried. I was on record as his emergency contact. The fire dept was called to do a wellness check and they found him dead in his apartment. He had a heart condition and was very overweight. He was 39.
So what follows for me is a blizzard of new experiences. Find a mortuary. Call his landlord. Clean out his apartment. Find out if he has stuff that needs to be returned to his employer. Figure out what to do with his car.
My son and I hadn't talked in over a year. I don't know that we could have done anything different on that score but there is a lot of guilt that comes with it regardless.
Hug your loved ones. Don't loose touch. You just never know.
Max |
jinx758 wrote: |
So, so sorry to hear of your loss ... !
PLEASE DO THIS :
1) allow yourself to grieve. Don't hold back - this is normal and healthy (both for you, family, & friends).
2) after the arrangements are done find a quiet place by yourself. Write your son a letter and tell him everything you would've said or think he needs to hear . He will see/get the message and you may fell a little bit of closure. Show it to no one, this is between you and your son - destroy it afterwards.
This has helped others who were harboring ill emotions considering loss, survivors guilt, & etc..
Gentle blessings ...
jinx
In 2000 my Mom passed in Az when I was in Tx. I fastened a dozen red carnations onto a board with her name & dates. I found a stream & let it float away till it went around a bend while telling her what I felt I needed to say. I still miss her & wish I could hear her voice one more time. |
_________________ American Red Cross Safe And Well:
https://www.redcross.org/about-us/news-and-events/...bsite.html
Maui Roadsters
www.mauiroadsters.com
http://www.oacdp.org
Lind wrote: |
Have you considered simply starting with a nicer bus? I don't know what your skills are, but the race is easier if you can see the finish line. If you are not a runner, don't start off doing a marathon. |
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