TheSamba.com :: View topic

Wed Mar 02, 2011 7:53 am

I was thinking the other day that my Aunt and Uncle were married 63 years before they passed. I have not been yet....But, who of you are married.....how long....and do you have kids?

Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:20 am

This year will make 15 years married and I love it.
No kids. Tried for 5 years, but no go, so we're making other plans.

My advice is to find somebody who is reasonable. That's the key...reasonable. If you or your partner can't sit down and reason out a situation with both of you giving valid points and coming to some kind of conclusion... move on.

My wife's best friend was married to an asshole. They divorced, my wife took her friend's side (obviously). I didn't take either side, but I made the point that her friend is unreasonable. You can crunch numbers all day, but she gets whatever she wants regardless of cost. When her cards are maxed, she borrows money from my wife, who ends up taking payments in return.

That woman is unreasonable and will find a hard time staying married to anybody.

Just my 2 cents...reasonable is the key.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:47 am

We've been together 41 years. We've had a great ride, a lot of fun and experiences.
We are still best buds and have had two daughters, both grown, married, they and their spouses are wonderful and productive citizens.
We have 4 almost 5 grandkids.(one due in April)

Happily our kids and their families like us so we see them frequently!

Money? We're not well off but we get by, in the important stuff we consider ourselves abundantly wealthy! There is no feeling like walking into a home and having four little faces light up because YOU are there! :D

Photo of us as starry eyed teens hanging in my 60 Bug, my first car. Her first was a 66 Ghia. We were VW kids, maybe that's why we've made it so long?

dave

Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:33 am

chickengeorge wrote: This year will make 15 years married and I love it.
No kids. Tried for 5 years, but no go, so we're making other plans.

My advice is to find somebody who is reasonable. That's the key...reasonable. If you or your partner can't sit down and reason out a situation with both of you giving valid points and coming to some kind of conclusion... move on.

My wife's best friend was married to an asshole. They divorced, my wife took her friend's side (obviously). I didn't take either side, but I made the point that her friend is unreasonable. You can crunch numbers all day, but she gets whatever she wants regardless of cost. When her cards are maxed, she borrows money from my wife, who ends up taking payments in return.

That woman is unreasonable and will find a hard time staying married to anybody.

Just my 2 cents...reasonable is the key.

You are a wise man sir. Im 22 and Ive realise that with my parents. Infortunatly my father married a psycho and the result was the divorce of my parents. When you cannot sit down with your wife or your girlfriend and talk rationnaly about problem/good stuff/futur in your couple without any taboo, its not a good sign. Its all about the atitude and the rational thinking.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:51 am

9 years.
2 kids
3 almost 4 year old boy.
1 almost 2 year old boy.

We do alright. Mother-in-law watches kids if we want to go out.
We do a lot of separate things to keep us sane.
We also hang out with mostly the same friends.
Work complete opposite schedules so we don't see each other often.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:04 am

15 years this August.
2 girls, 7 and 10.
We have the same friends, met as friends of friends. Most of our friends, we have known for 15-30 or more years. I am still best friends with my best friend from childhood, who I started playing with when I was two. I'm 42 now.
We get along pretty well I think because both of us are pretty reasonable, want the other person to be happy, and remember that we have an obligation to each other, and to our family to keep the promises we made when we got married.
Both of us came from marriages that ended in divorce. My parents have both been divorced twice, and her mother is on her fifth husband. I think we went into it determined that we were not going to follow that path.
I'm still very happy being married.
We do alright financially. Other people have more toys but that is hardly a measure of success in life.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:12 am

I've been married for 6 years and have a young child. It did take me a long time to find my wife but as soon as I realized that I didn't have to settle for just anyone I felt better about waiting a little longer for someone.

Be honest with who you are and what you expect and respect the same of your partner and you should find someone who you can live with for the rest of your life.

I got pretty lucky though, my wife isn't the PITA that I hear about other wives so often.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:31 am

Married almost 7 years here.

Two kids, girls, 5 years and 6 months.

Everything is OK overall....but things definitely change after you get married and then again after you have kids. The excitement of that first year or so together goes away for the most part, and life gets more complicated.

I like the point someone made about "reasonable".....you definitely need to marry an even keeled type of person. The looks are definitely not the #1 consideration you should base your decision on, the personality is. If you find an even keeled person you think you can live with for the rest of your life, consider yourself very lucky, it's hard to find in my experience.

I had a few 2-3 year girlfriends before I met my wife, and there was always something wacky about the person that ended the relationship.

I didn't get married until I was 33, felt I was ready then.

Make sure to be reasonable and not expect the person to change...because they won't. And make sure the person understands your car hobby, very important.

So, basically, it becomes more of a coop/partnership after a while, juggling tasks around.

It's all worth it when you look at your kids though...that's what life is all about man!! I love my kids so much.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:44 am

Fritter nailed it on the head! Marry someone even keeled and a person that you are "friends" with. We have had 18 wonderful and not so wonderful years together. Our oldest son is 17 while our younger passed away 15 years ago. Zach's passing is the only real bad part of our union. But, it actually strengthened our relationship and our faith. I also waited until I was 30 (she was 21). We were friends for 6 years before we started dating, but we decided on our 3rd date to commit to each other. Blessings to your future relationship!

Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:48 am

Fritter wrote: Married almost 7 years here.

Two kids, girls, 5 years and 6 months.

Everything is OK overall....but things definitely change after you get married and then again after you have kids. The excitement of that first year or so together goes away for the most part, and life gets more complicated.

I like the point someone made about "reasonable".....you definitely need to marry an even keeled type of person. The looks are definitely not the #1 consideration you should base your decision on, the personality is. If you find an even keeled person you think you can live with for the rest of your life, consider yourself very lucky, it's hard to find in my experience.

I had a few 2-3 year girlfriends before I met my wife, and there was always something wacky about the person that ended the relationship.

I didn't get married until I was 33, felt I was ready then.

Make sure to be reasonable and not expect the person to change...because they won't. And make sure the person understands your car hobby, very important.

So, basically, it becomes more of a coop/partnership after a while, juggling tasks around.

It's all worth it when you look at your kids though...that's what life is all about man!! I love my kids so much.

Oh, forgot to mention that we had our first kid, my wife had breast cancer, and my wife's mother got and died of brain cancer in a 2 year timeframe about 4 years back....that will really test a marriage. Life ain't all sunshine and roses, folks, be prepared.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 12:18 pm

Married 19 years to my lovely wife Amy to kids...well kinda, to mini dauchys...Darcy and Daisy, actually worse than kids :lol: but love them just the same.

Mark

Wed Mar 02, 2011 12:35 pm

My wife and I knew each other for 6 weeks when we got engaged and now have been married over 20 years. 3 sons (14, 7, 3) later and I'd do it all over again.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 12:51 pm

notchback wrote: My wife and I knew each other for 6 weeks when we got engaged and now have been married over 20 years. 3 sons (14, 7, 3) later and I'd do it all over again.
But the bigger question is----------would she? :?

Wed Mar 02, 2011 12:53 pm

Was married for 12 years, now divorced, and happy!

Two kids 13 and 10....

Wed Mar 02, 2011 1:04 pm

My wife and I were together 5-6 years prior to marriage. Last june was our 20th anniverary. Two absolutely wonderful daughters, now 15 and 18. At first, we could not stand each other. It evolved into an opposites attract thing and that balance of differences has worked well for us. I love my family, and thank god for them everyday... can't imagine life w/out them. The only regret I have is ever reading any post FN Grimey has put up. :lol:

Wed Mar 02, 2011 1:18 pm

I was happily married for 5 years until death did us part. Now I am engaged to be happily married again. No kiddos yet, but they are in the master plan.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 1:48 pm

Happily married for 25 years, we've been together over 31 years. We have a 23 yo daughter, a 21 yo son, and an 18 yo son.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 1:52 pm

marklaken wrote: I was happily married for 5 years until death did us part. Now I am engaged to be happily married again. No kiddos yet, but they are in the master plan.

Good for you Mark, that's good to hear.

Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:17 pm

Married almost nine years.
6 year old girl, 1 1/2 year old girl, 9 month old twin boys. I can't believe I even have time to be on here! It's a lot of fun. Lots of work, but lots of fun. Being married is a lot like working on these VWs; The more time and effort you put into it, the better you understand and enjoy. :D

Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:41 pm

41 years married here. 2 daughters....1 we haven't seen for over 10 years.