any of you ever coach a kids sport team?...looking for input

[marklaken]

called the youth soccer league in town about being kids recreational league soccer coach...i had a few questions...i think they assumed i was in...so i guess i am now!...so how about it...good experiences? bad experiences?...
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Mark Laken
Fort Collins, CO

[DaveM]

what age? the real young ones (5- is more or less like herding cats. Some will want to be there, some won't. Don't stress winning. Stress participation and having fun.

My 10 year old has been playing soccer for 5 or so years now and finally most of the kids on the team this year appear to *want* to be there. My wife coached two of those years and did little as far as training. Another friend of mine coaches but gets more involved even with the younger ones and gets them to stretch and drills them. His teams always do better. I think you can get them to do a lot if you have patience.
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[quattlebum]

Teach them to play the game well, strategy and such, and to WIN, the only point to playing sports it to be the best and WIN... none of this FAIR bullshit...

I played soccer for years, played a few club teams, had a chance to play on the state team, but blew my knee so there went that dream... I coached some 12-14 year olds and was teaching them how to play well, strategize and play as a team, and most importantly WIN... the opposing team parents said I was making winning to important to the kids... So what? should I tell them to lose and tell them to let billy the whiney kid on the other team have the ball so he doesn't FEEL bad?

never mind my rant... teach them to play well and to win...

[vwracerdave]

The problem isn't coaching the kids. Your biggest problem will be controling the parents. Good luck.
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[bljones]

rule #1: it's supposed to be fun.
rule #2: remember rule #1.

I've coached soccer, softball and hockey, and at the beginning of each season had a meeting with the parents and kids, and outlined what my expectations of the team and their parents were. It usually went something like this:
First, everybody plays, every game... unless you don't show up for practice.
We all win, and we all lose, as a team.
Effort is rewarded.
There are no stars.
There is only one coach.
The only yelling i want to hear from the stands is encouragement.
If parents have a concern, deal with the coach privately, away from the team.

Here's what i learned along the way.
Every kid is good at at least one part of the game.
Praise what they do right, and show them what they did wrong, and how to do it right... but don't criticize them. Nothing kills fun faster than being told you're a screwup.
Their attention span is half the size of their energy level. repetition builds skills, but skill drills should have no more than 10 reps.
Ice cream/ hot chocolate after a game is great for soothing losses and celebrating wins, and sometimes, that is the only thing keeping a disinterested kid involved.


At the beginning of every season, there were kids who didn't want to be there, and kids who thought they should have pro contracts, and parents who thought their kid wasn't getting enough gametime, or that the coach was too hard on little Eugene, making him do all the things the bigger more athletic kids could do... but usually after a practice or two, and a game or two, everyone would start to pull together. Once in a while, you'll have a "rudy" moment, when the least likely player on the team makes the greatest play of the game, and the cheers of the other players and the big-ass goofy grin of pure joy on that kid's face are what it's all about.
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[marklaken]

thanks for the info...

it sounds like i will be heading up a boys team...no age yet, but i told them something in the 8-12 year old range...herding cats doesn't sound too fun, and i'd be hard pressed to keep up with teenagers skill and learning level...maybe i'll tackle that in a few years if i like the job...

Bl, thanks for the info on your initial team meeting...that advice is going to help me alot...

on winning and being fair...i was at a conference for SDIC (systematic development of informed consent)...a tool that government bodies use to get grudging consent from poeple that are generally opposed to public works projects (say for instance, building a fire station next door to your house)...the swiss man presenting the material said that in Europe, there was no real word or concept for "fair"...it wasn't until Americans started playing soccer that Europe really started understanding what "fair" really meant...I am more about Fair than winning, but i don't want an unmotivated team either...any thoughts on how to achieve both?...
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Wish List:
1967 Wesfalia SO-42 Parts Needed: Kitchenette, Cot Poles

'65 rear left beetle fender

15" Bus Wheels in fair condition

Mark Laken
Fort Collins, CO

[my59]

Both my kids were on the same baseball team this year, thank god. The coaches started with a bunch of know nothing players and actually had a team playing together in a month or so.

They had each kid play a position more or less all the time, but they also had the kids rotate positions so all got to learn the different positions. They got the kids to work together and be fair with each other. "Fair" to the other team was playing clean and trying to beat em best they could.

My old man coached little league back in the late 60's; he was known for ejecting parents from the game for being assholes to their kids. He'd start off by speaking to them quietly to try to minimize the embarasment to both the kid and the 'rent, and if that didnt get the parent to STFU the next inning he'd call a time out, point out the offending parent and tell em to go sit in the car until they could control themselves... He was loyal to his team and the kids were loyal to him as their coach.

Years later he told me that there were a lot of complaints about this to the league organizers, and his argument was public humiliation gets you nowhere- how many people put up with their boss telling them they suck in front of all their coworkers?
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[NAES]

It's funny timing because my wife and I just had a conversation about this very subject of winning.

She feels that winning should not be a focus at all and that participation is all that matters.

I think it makes kids soft, without a spine and doesn't give them the tools to handle struggle in life. Sure, there are hurt feelings out there but for crying out loud, the entire basis of sport is the competition itself. I'm really sick of hearing about these pussy parents who don't want to deal with hurt feelings. But I'm more sick of the parents who live through their kids vicariously and end up yelling obscenities and getting into fistfights. Such assholes that need anger management classes.

I grew up a BMXer from about 5 until 15 and the agony of defeat is what pushed me to practice more, develop my technique and try harder.

If the kid doesn't want to be there, let him sit around watching TV, playing his PSP or jerking off.

BTW, I don't have kids myself so I'm just speaking from personal experience having lived it.
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[DaveM]

with younger kids, especially in the 5-8 year old classes, its better to teach them how to participate and act as a team than to push for a win. If they act as a team, they will win. The key is to stress participation and focus on the game. I look at the teams and see a few go-getters out on the field, they need no encouragement except to share the ball sometimes. Working as a team and having fun should be the learning goal. Kids dont need help with understanding that winning is a good thing.
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Kids need to do both. They need to learn to win, in order to be competitive and to stand up for themselves. They need to play fair too. Winning when cheating or being a jerkoff accomplishes little. Losing in a valiant effort is something to be proud of! Someone that barely wins in a skin-of-the-teeth battle will respect the losing team, so both teams win IMO.

The problem is when people think that ONLY winning is important, or ONLY "playing fair".

Show me someone that only wants to win, and I'll show you a cheater. Show me someone that only wants to play fair, and I'll show you a pushover/doormat.

John
Aircooled.Net Inc.

[Kanzapanzer]

Beware of the parents. Everybody's kid is gonna be a pro when they get older.
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[Fusillade]

[bljones]

[coad]

Don't be this clown:

http://www.postgazette.com/pg/05196/538635.stm

[61ghia77bay]

Adults can take the fun out of sports. Remember why you are doing this and you will be fine.
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Rolling

[oly29]

If they offer any coaching clinics take as many as you can. Make sure every player stretches before the game and practice and they bring lots of water to drink. Conditioning is the biggest thing in soccer. Also take a referee course to learn the rules of the game. I am 52 years old and still referee games with 12 and 14 year old players.

[Naked]

Ive given up on kids sports. Baseball, BMX, Basketball, Soccer. Too many GD parents living vicariously through there kids. The kids never have any fun. All about not making Mom or Dad mad.
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[markm]

Just remember, the kids are great, the parents SUCK!

[Gary]

I worked with my son through his sports to get him to understand there's always a winner and a loser -- and you can't always win. But, if you play hard and do your best, then it's not for naught. Bleacher coaches (loud mouth parents) are a big problem. My son's baseball team lost a game this year because the umpire instructed the coaches that all runners are to slide into home plate when more than on man is on base. The mothers didn't hear this, and when one kid asked about sliding, they turned all chatty and read the rules and told all the kids in the dugout not to slide. The next inning two runs are ruled out because the runner didn't slide, and guess who got all butt hurt? They didn't even put in the effort to find the overall official, so guess who paid the price for someone elses ignorance? That's the biggest problem.

Once the kids get into a rythem and you move them around, everyone fits into a groove. I have learned there are a few "problem apples", but a few rounds on the bench tends to straighten them out. I don't coach, but I have seen what works.
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[kavikhahn]

I coached varsity high school baseball for 10 years, JV basketball for 6, and coached my kids little league baseball teams. Some things I learned.

It isn't about winning or losing, its about fun. Winning is more fun, though.

Don't assume that a clunky young kid is a loser. Some grow into their bodies and become stars later, if you don't shut them down.

Never criticize a kid during a game for doing something wrong if you didn't teach him to do correctly during practice.

Its not about you, or the parents, its about the kids.

Spend the time teaching fundamentals.

Have fun with it.
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kavikhahn